you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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