Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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