xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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