don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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