it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
