my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
this hospital has no fireball
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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