How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
