in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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