it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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