I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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