I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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