I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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