help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize