He called his prostate his "boner button".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
