i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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