We're facebook friends in real life
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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