covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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