erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
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As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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