belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
