I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
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Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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