True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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