he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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