I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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