Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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