You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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