i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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