The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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