arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
