last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize