Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
