Can Purell be used as lube?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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