he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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