Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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