I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Vodka?
Forever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
