i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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