Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
