my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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