One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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