I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
too bad you live with your parents still
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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