They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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