Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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