The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
