My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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