Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
