Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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