remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
