Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
