it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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