suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Church boner. Awkwardddd
organizing the empties. That sober.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
