we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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