She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
