You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
