i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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