I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
