I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
