Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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