physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize