dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
