Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes