yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.