Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.