Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha