you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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