oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
