my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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