U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He felt like a one man threesome
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
